The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond Author: Visit Amazon's Patricia Evans Page | Language: English | ISBN:
1440504636 | Format: PDF
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond Description
Review
"The book that helped change Brandy's life." Oprah.com "A groundbreaking book..." --Newsweek "A great, great book." --Sonya Friedman, CNN"
About the Author
Patricia Evans is the bestselling author of four books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, Controlling People, and The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? A highly acclaimed interpersonal communications specialist, public speaker, and consultant, Evans has appeared on Oprah, CNN, national radio, and in Newsweek and O, The Oprah Magazine. Evans lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and can be reached via her website at www.VerbalAbuse.com.
- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: Adams Media; Third Edition edition (January 18, 2010)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1440504636
- ISBN-13: 978-1440504631
- Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
- Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Several weeks before leaving my abusive husband after 42 years of marriage, I read "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. I noted many passages that clearly described the abusive tactics he was using on me.
The information, however, was just so irrefutable, so undeniably true, it was far too painful for me to fully realize and assimilate at the time.
Sixteen months after leaving him, I picked the book off the closet shelf and re-read it, this time noticing many more abusive characteristics of his and experiences I went through in the past. Numerous passages were boldly marked this time, and many more notes were made. Virtually every page held so many similarities to what I had been experiencing in this abusive relationship.
After decades of being unaware of this type of abuse, I finally arrived at the realization that he was indeed extremely verbally abusive during our marriage. This was a tremendous revelation to me, as I had unconsciously hidden and "forgotten" even the physical assault that occurred early in the marriage. Before we married, however, he was attentive and I thought he loved me as I loved him.
I thought that verbal abuse was mainly name calling and hurling outright insults. My to be ex husband did not often call me names and obvious insults were rather rare, although he did call me stupid and crazy a few times. Yes, he did beat me severely early in our marriage, but he was mainly a covert abuser. His methods were insidious and had me feel that I was to blame for just about everything that went wrong.
He would often criticize men and women on TV, their physical faults, mouth too large, crooked nose, too fat, too thin, etc.
If you are even looking at this review, that means you or someone you know has made you think about verbal abuse enough to come and check out this book. If you have had to think about it even that much, then THIS BOOK WILL BE OF UNBELIEVABLE VALUE TO YOU!!!!
Get it today. Read it the minute it arrives on your porch.
(If there is concern that the book did not get 5 starts, be sure to look at the one star revies--almost all by the same reviewer.)
If you think you just have a grumpy spouse, or if you know they guy is way out of line: GET THIS BOOK. If you feel alone even when he is around, or if you can't get him off your back: GET THIS BOOK.
Verbal and emotional abuse can be so subtle, so subtle that you don't even realize it is abuse. The effects confuse you about your own experiences, and make you doubt your own judgement, to the point where you know you are unhappy, but you feel like it is your own fault. So you may not think this book is for you.
Do yourself a favor...if there is even a whisper of curiosity in you about the subject, you or someone you care about will benefit from your access to this knowledge.
This book defines very specifically and clearly what constitutes abuse, emotional evidence that you are being abused, ways to respond to make the abuse stop, and a clear picture of the mentality of the abuser. Trust me, they are not seeing it the way you are. We all make the mistake of thinking that our spouse's understanding of love is the same as our own, which is why we just don't understand WHY they do what they do to us.
Be prepared to see everything in a whole new light. (For some of us, the first light we have seen in a long, long time.)
This book gives you hope.
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